Asparagus,

Forget the Gravy.

We are aware of their secret meetings with the Mashed Potatoes. We are currently putting a Guest List in order to remind them of where their loyalties should lie.

We have received intelligence from another operative that some Milk Products have turned traitor. You are to determine if the new Information Retrieval Techniques that they have been working on for us has fallen into the hands of our arch nemisis: the Mashed Potatoes.

Once again, DO NOT TALK TO THE BUTTER! (We have become aware that he melts under pressure, and that is a mess we just do not want to have to deal with...)

Try not to curdle our already sour relations with the Milk,

Pseudo Commander in Chef

Commander,

I was relieved to receive news of the Turnips' demise.

I have learned that, unfortunately, the Mashed Potatoes are attempting to create a coalition with the Gravy in order to increase their numbers sufficiently to completely surround the Butter.

The Cooked Carrots have been M.I.A. on the Saucer-Front for a while. We suspect fowl play as the eggs have been working on their scramble maneuvers. We may require additional forces as we continue to investigate this matter.

C.O. Asparagus

Asparagus,

As per instructions by General Ginsu Knives, I am now responsible for your assignments. I will not tolerate the kamikaze stunts you have pulled with your previous handlers. Also, I will most certainly NOT tolerate your picture on the front of the the Sugarbowl Times in the midst of the SweetPea Dancers! It is intolerable!

Is this clear?

Your new assignment is to determine who is now allying with the Mashed Potatoes. If you are caught, you are ordered to immediately self destruct, by using the Microwave tool included in your new ultra-secret-compact-discreet-dishwasher safe-uber-useful spy kit™. It is the upgraded Dummy-proof Version 4.7, so even you should have no problem using it.

Should you have any questions... ask Someone Who Cares.


Pseudo Commander in Chef

Covert Operative Asparagus,

It is imperative that we continue our movement forward on the front. With our recent victory in the north against the Turnips we now have a chance to bring war to a close.

The Mashed Potatoes remain our number one adversary. With the fallout from the Table Cloth Battle, we are no longer certain who stands with, and who stands against.

If you have survived the recent violence, you must contact H.Q. for your assignment. Your contact will be Pseudo Commander in Chef.

I wish you luck in your future endeavours.

Sincerely,

General Ginsu Knives